**My World of lov3atfirstsight**

Sunday, June 29, 2008

HELLO!!!
Welcome me to this lovely world!

My name is.........................................................................
Haven't decide yet.
Hahaha.
Papa say need to go fortune teller there then decide my name.

I cute anot?
Hahaha.
Cute right?
I know.
Papa say cannot blog my nude picture on the website.
So.... just look at my lovely face will do.
=)

Hehehe..
我升职做姑姑了!!!

A healthy baby.
Fat fat somemore.
3.6 kg.
So fat fat.

辛苦你了,黄晓佩!!

Thank you for bring this lovely baby into our family. =)

It's been 4 years.
And he still can't let it down.
Perhaps we are too insensitive.
We thought everything is over.
Everyone is okay.
But actually not.

I am sorry.
Or rather we are sorry.
But there is no reason for you to continue sinking down.
There is no one else to blame but yourself.
No one else to help but yourself.
I take back my words.

You are still who you are in my heart.
=)

This is just parts and parcels of life that we have to been through.
One day, he will gone, I will be gone even you yourself will be gone too.
There is nothing left to grieve about.
Just miss her will do.
She will always be there.
In our heart.
Isn't it?

I wonder will you read these?
Hahaha.
99% you wouldn't.
But is alright.
I just want to write it out.
I just want you to know that you are not alone.
We are a family.

Friday, June 27, 2008

无辣不欢

I love chilli to the core. Especially those belacan, chilli padi and 麻辣火锅.
The spiciest, the better.

And I made something really spicy today for my dinner.
I cooked maggi mee with sambal belacan, chilli padi, thailand chilli flakes and lots of pepper.
Hahaha.
It's been a long time since I tried to make something real spicy and I succeeded tonight!!
It is really god damn spicy can!
Hahaha.
And I really like it. =)

But my stomach seems to be protesting.
Hais.
I have already been to the toilet 7 times after eating that god damn spicy bowl of maggi mee.
Hahaha.
My retribution for satisfying my craving but yet torturing my stomach.

Din say it is not good to eat so spicy.
But it is just not easy for me to give up on spicy food.

MST finally over!!!
Yipee!!
Hahaha.
3 modules for this semester.
2 paper for this mst.

I missed Priya's paper on tuesday. I sent her an email on tuesday to let her know I will miss the paper and ask if I can have a retest and she NEVER REPLY me! I wonder who is the one emphasizing to the class that we have to check email frequently? I just don't like her. Her words are total rubbish. =x
But I still want her to give me a retest!!

TYY's paper today is okay.
I think I know how to do the calculation part. As in I really think I know how to do. But Delphine and Kelvin don't know how to do leh. Scarli, I thought I know how to do and the result come back is KNS. Lols. Let's pray hard.

雨过天晴！
Was scolded by Delphine and Kelvin for being too soft-hearted and useless.
Hais.

Yea. I admit. I forgive him easily.
But what you expect me to do?
Argue until like there is no tomorrow and expect him to piang cab down to Boon Lay while he stay in Paya Lebar, then kneel down in front of me and say sorry?
Of course not la!!
I love him leh!!
How would I bear to make him go through so much troubles and waste so much money??
Lols.
I shall just admit that I am useless can!
I am not those sort of temperamental and demanding girlfriend.
Lols.
To me, if I really think I don't mind, I will just say I don't mind.
I don't play mind games with my boyfriend.
I prefer genuine love and complete honesty relationship.
Hahaha.
Maybe because I felt indebted to him in a way.
Maybe because I felt that I let him down in a way.
I just owe him something.
Something that nothing but my love can repay back.

A part of me want to be with him forever.
Another part of me want to leave him for some reason that I don't want anyone else to know.
So don't question me what reason is that.

Visited Noor's blog.
Doubt he know I got his blog link from Junjie.
Lols.

Anyway, his English is like POWER RANGER la!
I hate him!
Hahahaha.

Quoted from his blog about what his late grandfather said.

When you love someone, never give them your heart.
When you have someone, do not hate them wholeheartedly.

I don't think I can do that.
When I love someone, I gave them my whole heart.
Lols.
I think this should be the way.
But maybe to someone that have had enough of all the sufferings from love may think otherwise.

I don't really understand what the second sentence means.
Lols.

I love Din.
Din love me.
May our love last forever.
No matter what happened in the past.
I just want to start anew.
=)

FYP meeting up tomorrow~!
Oh crap! When is it going to end??
My sweet JULY.. wait for me..

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I just finish reading all my blog post..
Din went to Egypt on 15th June..
On 16 June, I blog and say he sms me everyday.. I so happy..

Ha..
Maybe I am really too easily contented..
I never realise a thing at all until now..
It is never difficult to satisfy me.. except for serious work matters or project..
I find myself saying alot of "I don't mind"..
As in.. I really don't mind..

But there are still things that I will mind..

I can do whatever things I like?
Can I?
Can I don't study for my test?
Can I don't go for MST?
Can I don't go work after MST?
Can I don't do housework after reaching home?
Can I don't do anything and just laze around at home and rot?
Can I?

I can't..

地球是圆的，而且它会日夜不眠的不停的转动。
活在地球上的人也一样。
不可以停下来。
每天照样起床、做事、睡觉。
无论发生什么事，我也得继续做我应该要作的事。

=)
Thankyou..

Advertisement advertisement advertisement!!!

Making an advertisement very troublesome you know?
I reach home 1130pm, wash clothes need to wait till 1230am then can start hanging dry..
I need to do my revision for MST..
I don't even have the chance to start my beauty sleep, 12am to 3am.
You still want me to wake up early in the morning to make advertisement for you..

You say any 3 days.. any 3 newspaper.. let the person organise themselves..
Then now is my fault again..
How I know when your coffeeshop open?
How I know when you need the workers?
You just give a call and ask me to do and I just do as follow also..

You guys make me don't have enough time to sleep..
Then now..
You guys even want to control my sleeping hour issit??
Set for me what time sleep and what time wake up..

I really feel like moving out..
I rather you all leave me alone..
I rather stay outside alone..
When I free then come back to see you..
I don't have the energy to do so much things..

One week has 7 days..
I haven't even got ONE day for me to stay at home and just laze around and sleep or do my own things..
Hais..
I don't ask for more..
Just give me one day in a month..
Let me stay at home.. let me just stay in my room.. lie on my bed for the whole day and let me sleep..
I just need some sleep..

"The test end at 4 la"
And that is the last thing he said to me till now..
He don't really care about me I think..
No work.. No school.. No tuition.. Not going out with friends either..
And he never even call or message me..
Maybe it is a curse..
Once the PSP is sold.. he will be gone..
The PSP was sold indeed..
And he is somehow gone in a way also..
Lols..

No matter how busy I am..
I always leave the 1 hour before my sleep free to spend time with him..
He don't really appreciate it..
He don't really like it either..
He would prefer to watch documentary shows, soccer or eat his supper than talk to me..
Other couples meet once a week because of work or NS..
My boyfriend?
He got all his 24/7 staying at home and I still meet him once a week or sometimes never even meet at all..
I saw Kelvin leaving his weekends specially for Sarah.. I really think it is sweet..
I told Din about this alot of times already.. but he always got his reason or excuse to stay at home..
I asked him.. when is the last sweet thing that you did for me?
Hahahahaha..
He said it is when he came to my house and surprise me after I finished work..
And you know when is it?
It was around September 2006.. when I am still working at Subway..
I've quit Subway.. join Candy Empire..
quit Candy Empire.. join Vitakids..
quit Vitakids.. join Manzana..
quit Manzana.. join Evita Peroni..
It is June 2008 now and the last sweet thing my boyfriend did for me is in 2006..
I didn't say it you know?
He himself gave me this answer..

-.-
lov3atfirstsight..
It's a beautiful phrase..
Let's hope it have a beautiful ending..

I am tired.. I need to study for my MCFA liao..
Tomorrow need to wake up early to call up the advertisement hotline again.. =)

Sunday, June 22, 2008

-.-
Mysterious love bites..
Today morning wake up.. don't know why got some red red marks on my neck..
Red marks that look like love bites..
Strange..

I don't want anyone to intrude into my house!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't mind you want me to wash this wash that.. clean this clean that..
But can you just let me stay in my house alone..
I don't give a fuck whether you all coming home to accompany me anot..
I don't give a fuck whether am I always left alone at home anot..
I don't give a fucker whether am I cleaning up all your shit job anot..

Just leave me alone k?
If you all don't want to come home and help me so be it..
I don't need help from anyone that is not in this house..

Can't you give me sometimes?
I need to work..
I just finish my FYP Report, trying to start on my FYP ppt..
I having MST next week and I haven't start studying at all..
And I still need to go home wash your clothes.. hang your clothes.. fold your clothes.. vaccum the whole house.. mop the whole house.. wash toilets..
I am not made of steel..
I am a mere human being..

I called him.. told him about what happened..
He only ask me to go Macdonald to study or close in my room and ignore them..
Why he never thought of coming to my house and help me?

You say you miss me..
Miss me then you still rather to laze around at home than to come meet me..
I already told you I am not meeting you on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday..
You still can say nevermind lo..
Next time then meet..
-.-
More than a week never meet liao..
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday don't meet..
Then will be 2 weeks liao!!
All lies lo..
Say you miss me very much at Egypt..
You really miss someone then you wouldn't want to see that someone asap de meh??
You can play soccer with your friend but cannot come meet me for lunch??
At orchard only.. not boon lay leh..
And you are staying in fucking PAYA LEBAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arghh..
So tired of you and your idiot excuses..

You say you worry about me going back home late at night..
Then why aren't you sending me home leh?
As in.. if you really worry so much.. you would have come over to meet me and send me home lo.. and not complaining that I never follow your so called curfew..
It's not as though you are working or studying..
You are practically slacking at home..

I am so tired..
Tired of every single thing that is happening in my house..
Tired of my brother and everything else..
Tired of my boyfriend not helping me..
All he can say is.. "what to do? no choice what? don't know why your family liddat also.."
I don't know should I laugh or cry..

Another coffee house = more things assign to me..
I am not the maid at home..
My priority is school work.. not housework!!
Housework is just about doing cleaning up at home..
It includes alot of things k?
Burn disc for them.. buy things for them.. check things for them.. advertise things for them.. pay bills for them.. organise things for them.. i even have to pass message for them..

What is the use of the advance technology now?
Handphone for what?
3G for what?
Everything also useless de..
The only way of communication is through me.. me.. me.. and still me..

Where are you?
My guardian angel..
Or do I have one?
I just need some help..

刚刚看完溏心风暴第三十六集。

我真的真的没有心里准备看第三十七集。

我不敢看。

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Hehehe..

Baby coming back soon..
3 more hours to go..

I miss you like crazy..
Call me quick quick..
I wan act cute act cute.. =)

溏心风暴
Must watch k?
This is the best HK TVB show I ever watched before..
I always love HK Drama and always think that every single one that I've watched is the nicest ever..
But..
This is really different..
It is just the best of the best..
Typical wealthy family power-struggling drama..
The best part of this drama serial is that when it is HAPPY, it is really damn hilarious and funny; when it is SAD, it is really heart-breaking pain.
It's just so damn nice!
Hahaha..

I want a man like ta-ta-de..
Hehehe..
He is not romantic.. not sweet talker.. not handsome.. not charismatic.. not rich..
But he is just so trustworthy..
He is really ta-ta-de..
You can just entrust everything to him.
No worries..

Lols..
I always get too carried away by my emotions..
I know it is just a drama serial..
But I always can't help but really fall deep into all the roles of the characters that I liked.
Hahaha..

Tomorrow meeting Yixian lo!!
So anxious!!
I wonder did he really slim down bit bit.. cus I know he always want to go NS earlier to slim down..
Hehehe..
My friend..
See you soon..

=)

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Got it from Grace's blog, this is just so damn sweet to me.
Heeheehee..
I always love kids.. love the way they express themselves.. love the way they behave and the way they interpret thing..
1+1 is always equals to 2 to them..
Never will it be anything complicated to them..
After reading it, I thought of her..
My love for her is..
Telling her every single thing that happen to me everyday without leaving a tiny bit of detail behind..
But I know I can never do so anymore..
I just miss her.. and it is never easy to express out how much I miss her.. not even to my closest kin..
It is so hard for me to say that word again..
It seems to me that I've lost the ability to pronounce the word again..
I can hardly remember myself saying that word even when I am joking around with my friend..
There is many ways of saying that word..
I never heard myself saying it in that way anymore..
That lift is so special to me.

WHAT LOVE MEANS TO AGE 4 TO 8 YEAR OLD CHILDREN

Slow down for three minutes to read this..

It is so worth it.

Touching words from the mouths of babies;

What does 'Love' mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8year-olds,

'What does 'love' mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

See what you think:

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toe nails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss. '
Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikka - age 6

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well..'
Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day'
Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.'
Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8

And the final one --
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about the contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard,climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boysaid,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

When there is nothing left, that is when you find out that love is all you need.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Finally.
My lovely Toshiba lappy.
Love it to bits.
It is as fanciful as Vaio or as stylish as Macbook.
But I just love Toshiba.
Hahaha.
I trust it for its durability.
Hope it wouldn't disappoint me. =)

Toshiba laptop = $1599
I got a Nikon Camera, Canon Printer and some laptop accessories for free. Hahaha. *Contented*

Yesterday is Fathers' Day and I totally forget about it.
I am so sorry, Papa.

I am so wore out.
I need to work, doing household chores and finish up my FYP Report.
Other than that, those miscellaneous things also need me to do.
Apart from that, I need to spend time with my boyfriend and friends also.
I really don't understand why they love to push everything to me.
Luckily I am having my holiday right now.
If not, I really doubt I have the time and energy to do all the things they want me to do.

I hate going back home.
Home = Loneliness
I felt that I am living alone.
I never get to see them.
Not even on weekends sometimes.
They are always busy working and he is always busy hanging out.
They love to assume that I can do it, I have the time to do it, I ought to do it.
He only cares about himself and he treated here like a hotel.
A hotel that is FOC. A hotel with free cleaning and laundry service. A hotel owner that pay for his everything. A hotel that he have maid to demand for all his needs. A hotel that he can bring anyone back home up to his own likings.
No one ever speak up, including myself.

I don't wish to create any conflicts between anyone of them.
I don't wish to see him yelling at him.
I don't wish to see him complaining that no one cares about him.
I really don't understand why is he like that.

24 years old and all he knows is to push blames to everyone or everything else.
He never care about anyone of us.
He simply don't give a damn.

He continued Papa's phone plan and get a new phone for himself and left Papa to use an old and spoiled phone. The plan belongs to Papa and Papa had been paying it himself, he never even bother to ask and just go ahead continuing the plan and get a phone for himself. After that, he just simply enjoy using the new phone and never even try to get a new phone for Papa. He don't feel a thing, he don't even care.
Soon after that, he signed up the Mio Plan and get another phone for FREE. When Papa asked him if there is any free thingy for signing up the plan, he answered "NO". What the fuck! He just kept quiet and used the new phone. He never even think of giving it to Papa. He is just so fucking selfish.
He went to Bangkok and never even inform Papa about it.
He has money to buy a new car but no money to pay his own school fees and asked Papa to pay his school fees every month. He bought the car and fetch Papa to work for less than 2 weeks and use the car all for himself now.
He always go clubbing, drinking and bring his different ONS home.
He is just so bloody disgusting and indecent.
He always claimed that he is busy while he only work 2 days and off 2 days.
He is always busy entertaining his so-called friends outside and never even bother about his own family members.
He knew my computer is down and I need to finish up my report but he still happily bring his laptop out everyday. So what if he let me know his password, I never get the chance to lay a finger on it.
When I wanted to buy a laptop using his credit card during April, he told me to wait till IT Fair for better deal. He is just so hypocritical. He never even want to borrow me his card at all. He is just buying time. In the end, it is still big brother who borrowed me his card. I know big brother wanted to get a laptop himself too but he borrowed me money to buy first and don't have money left to buy for himself.
He have so much free time to go out to have fun but never have time to visit ah ma. Ah ma kept asking about him and he never even call ah ma once.
He came home only to sleep and eat. After eating, he left all his crumbs on the table and never clean it up.
Papa asked him to go down to the shop to help, he brought a girl along and help for less than 3 hours and went off.
People always put their family as Number 1. But I only see us ranking the last in his heart.
I really hate him.
I don't understand why is he my brother.
I wish he could open up his eyes and look back and realise what a jerk he has been all along.
If not, I hope he can marry any ONS of his asap and fuck out of our house.
We don't need him at all.
He is working and earning and never contribute to anything for the house.
Papa is the one paying everything right now.
Instead of giving Papa's allowance, he even take money from Papa to pay his school fees.
And I am quite sure he is taking more than what his school fees need.
How I wish I can stop doing all the things for him.
I really wanted to stop washing his clothes, cleaning up his room, clearing up his shoes.
But if I really do so, Aunty would have to do extra work.
I am not doing anything for him but for other people in my family.
Soon, I would forget that I have a fat brother and just remember that I only have a big brother.

Baby is at Egypt now. But he still send me sms everyday. =)
Thank you baby!
I need you to be by my side to stay strong.

Meeting Yixian out this coming Saturday! Lols.
Can't wait to see him sia.
I am really looking forward to Saturday.
It is just not the same without him around us.
Less meeting up.
Haha.
Cus he is always the lonely soul that organise to meet up everytime.
I miss our Fat Fat Yixian!!
I miss my buddy!!
Hahaha.
See you soon my friend!

Oh yeah! Sinying is BACK!
Haha. So sweet of me to go fetch her from the airport when I am so sick. *Self-proclaimed*
She never change much. Still as pretty as before and still so tall. Haha.
Abit bit chubbier though. =)
Hahaha.
So sad. I cannot go out with them today. Hais.
I need to celebrate Fathers' Day with Papa.
Sorry girls.

Working at Marina Square tomorrow.
=)

Friday, June 6, 2008

Did I talk about our Father Frog too much?

Hahaha. If anyone in faggots were to see that super cute froggy mouse, they would have thought of Larry too I think. Shall wait for MJ to send me the cute picture of the mouse. Lols.
And talking about Rui En, who will forget about Larry Low. He is self-proclaimed Rui En Hardcore Fan. Lols. Grace, I think you just don't like his name. Haha.

Enough about that bloody FROG.

Today is a pleasant day. A lot of people come and find me. First is Emily, then Lance, then Chieng Siew and Grace and lastly Delphine and Kexin. Lols. International Friendship Day man! Haha. Lance is working at NAC FOX, so I guess I will see him more and more often. Lols. One storey down my Evita Peroni. Hahaha. Shall meet up with him for lunch more often. Delphine working at American Club, Kelvin at Lido Isetan. Lols. So many friends at Orchard. I am not alone.
Lance is la sup de lo! Everyday see girls. Later tio lai xiong! Lols.

Today our fat fat xian went in already! I will miss him!! Hahaha. He is so nice can! He is our fire big big ball. My best friend. Hope he will enjoy himself inside. Hahaha. I hope he will slim down too as that is what he wanted the most. May his wish come true and then "SLE 1010 F" will come true too. Haha. I sincerely hope the best for him la. Being not good looking is not a sin and nothing to be ashamed about. Cus my friend here got a big and kind heart which not everyone has. His name is Sebestian Benjamin Jack SER YI XIAN. Remember him k! And he is definitely going to be a millionaire few years down the road. See you soon Yixian!

Chinatown porridge is nice de lo! Hahaha. Shall bring my faggots there next time. It is simply too nice. Hahaha. I always go there with my brother. Today my colleagues brought me there too. Hahaha. This shows that the porridge there is really famous. Really very nice! Thumbs up!

Today I reserved 2 Hairband at work! Hahaha. My fucker say he will pay for it. Thank you baby! Hahaha. He must be quite rich recently. Lols. All I can say is he treat me so nice. Only sometimes nice la. Haha, It's time I going to do something for him and I will. Baby, I'll try my best k? Just be more patient.
Tomorrow finally can meet Din already! I can't wait for tomorrow to come. Haha. I miss him so much. It's been more than a week since we last met. In fact, we supposed to meet today de. But he don't want to go out with my colleagues so cannot meet up lo. Though he did suggest to come find me and send me home after that but I don't want him to come all the way to chinatown then send me home then in the end take bus 30 home. 1 hour plus of the bus journey, bored to tears man. I miss him.. miss him.. miss him..

I want my pay to come asap!!
I want my dark circles to be gone asap!!
I want my laptop asap!!
I want to fulfill my promise asap!!
I want to buy my bag asap!!
I want to go shopping asap!!
I want $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!

This is crap!
I just received an email from Apple!
With every purchase of any macbook, you can receive a $470 rebate on iTouch!
Which means I can get an 8 gb iTouch at bloody 28 bucks!
This is so damn!!
I already give up on my Macbook Black and the thoughts come by again!!
I hate it.
I am just so fickle.
But the deal is really too tempting!
iTouch at $28!!
I can laugh at Zo for being an BIG CABBAGE HEAD and Kelvin for being another CABBAGE HEAD best friend. Lols.
Pondering..